The world is a vicious, cold, and terrible place. Dreams aren't real and will never come true. Liars and sluts are abundant in all directions! And worst of all, I hate my job.
So, like any broke teenager punished with anguish and distraught from life's cruel lessons, I'm taking a vacation to DISNEYLAND! Never in my life has timing for such an event been nearly as impeccable. Finally I'll get to hang out in a world that isn't a frozen wasteland, maybe kick it on the beach and visit old friends! Not to mention the hot new piercing I'll be sporting in my vacation pics. Excitement fills my soul. However until that joyous vacation I will be busy with work, school, tests, and moving. That's right folks, I will be relocating my residence to a location currently unknown. Only slightly frightening.
Change is a good thing! It's constant, and fun and bestows the gift of surprise on me. I love discovering the ways I actually react to different situations. Sometimes it's negative when I assumed it would be positive or vice versa. Anyway, it's always fun to try/experience new things. Sleep is desired.
Action:
Tired of you.
All the effort you cost.
All the time you occupy my mind.
All the things I want to tell you.
All the memories so far behind.
All the time you spend ignoring me.
All of your lies.
Everything you are exhausts me.
Stop pretending to care.
Your efforts are wasted.
Don't say we're still friends.
We will never be.
Don't act like this is my fault.
You're half to blame.
I want you to move on.
I want me to move on.
Let's just pretend this never happened.
Easy for you.
Thanks for teaching me a lesson.
Fair weather friend.
The time we spent together gave me a sense of what you are-
A very good actor.
Take care.
All the effort you cost.
All the time you occupy my mind.
All the things I want to tell you.
All the memories so far behind.
All the time you spend ignoring me.
All of your lies.
Everything you are exhausts me.
Stop pretending to care.
Your efforts are wasted.
Don't say we're still friends.
We will never be.
Don't act like this is my fault.
You're half to blame.
I want you to move on.
I want me to move on.
Let's just pretend this never happened.
Easy for you.
Thanks for teaching me a lesson.
Fair weather friend.
The time we spent together gave me a sense of what you are-
A very good actor.
Take care.
Valentine's Day (motherfucker)!
Well. It's that day of the year again. I'm surrounded by flowers, chocolate and shiny red heart-shaped balloons and I couldn't be more pessimistic. In addition, my head is throbbing and my tummy is rumbling and I'm utterly exhausted after a long night of puking and making out with people I wish I didn't make out with. Not in that order. I guess a feeling of refreshment slightly lingers in my mind, after all, I did celebrate a new year.
On the bright side, I saw familiar faces and friends I adore last night of whom I haven't seen in longer than I would have hoped. My attire last night was pretty rad and I got mad compliments on it which did wonders for my painstakingly low self-esteem. Compliments are just one of those things I'm not sure I'll ever know how to accept. I do enjoy them a great deal, however.
Partying with people from work is funny. It's like "hello I'm drunk, you're drunk, and the respect we once had for each other is now broken forever." not in a bad way I guess. If that makes any sense at all. It's hard to think hungover. I wish I knew where my phone was. More importantly my iPod! Can't go 20 minutes without that thing. I apologize for this post is irrelevant to everything I'm just bored and felt as though expressing my thoughts was a good idea.
To hosts of last night's party:
Thank you for hosting such a large and boisterous evening! I thoroughly enjoyed myself :) Kruetzer throws the BEST parties and thank you roommates for participating and enjoying yourselves as well! Tahtah.
On the bright side, I saw familiar faces and friends I adore last night of whom I haven't seen in longer than I would have hoped. My attire last night was pretty rad and I got mad compliments on it which did wonders for my painstakingly low self-esteem. Compliments are just one of those things I'm not sure I'll ever know how to accept. I do enjoy them a great deal, however.
Partying with people from work is funny. It's like "hello I'm drunk, you're drunk, and the respect we once had for each other is now broken forever." not in a bad way I guess. If that makes any sense at all. It's hard to think hungover. I wish I knew where my phone was. More importantly my iPod! Can't go 20 minutes without that thing. I apologize for this post is irrelevant to everything I'm just bored and felt as though expressing my thoughts was a good idea.
To hosts of last night's party:
Thank you for hosting such a large and boisterous evening! I thoroughly enjoyed myself :) Kruetzer throws the BEST parties and thank you roommates for participating and enjoying yourselves as well! Tahtah.
Freak in the Sheets
I'm struggling to breathe in a world of adulthood and temptation. Fixated on the possibilities rather than the reality of things. Every time I snap out of it, regrets plague my soul until I reconsider the way things could be. School is a terrible place this semester. I walk amongst the rest of campus' inhabitants and have no desire for social interaction. Eye candy is outrageously smokin this time around and I cringe with every other chrome bag in sight.
Influences for my appearance range everywhere from the outrageously attractive hipsters on campus, to the male models in my GQ magazines, and elements gathered and interpreted from Lady GaGa. This is because as I age I'm trying to uncover who I really am underneath it all. I do such a good job hiding myself from the world that it's impossible to come out of hiding even from myself.
My first victim was a middle-aged suburban woman drenched in purple from head to toe. It was cold outside so she had a hideous purple peacoat with disgusting purple gloves and a rather unattractive fluffy purple scarf. She literally had her nose so high in the air it was as if she thought Jesus would come floating down from heaven and give her a kiss on the forehead. Luckily, she pissed me off enough for me to passively intimidate her from across the lightrail. Such a bitch.
I seek answers. What am I to do when someone hates commitment and obligation? I agree they are scary but what I fear even more is abandonment. The loss of interest. How am I to know the next time I see him he won't have found at least 43 others who are better qualified? The thought repels sleep from my bedroom and rest in my mind.
I stopped to question society again and got lost in my thoughts. Why is it nobody thinks they fit in yet everyone is convinced there are societal standards of fitting in? If nobody fits in then everyone does. It may be the only thing we have in common. I'm tired of wanting to be older - it's as though I'm wishing three years of my life away! I have no desire for a fake ID nor do I wish to step foot in a bar or club that is 21+ until I, myself am 21+. This sudden realization may result in my having to make new friends and get over the Hawty. If that's the case you can bet your bottom dollar that I will have no regrets or sadness about it. It's been on my mind a lot these past few days.
Valentine's day is on Sunday. That holiday may very well be the bane of my existence. I am a hopeless romantic and have yet to have a satisfying or even happy valentine's day. Not that it's a big deal or anything, but I'm tired of getting my hopes up to be thoroughly disappointed over a stupid holiday that shouldn't even be on a calender. If Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love - the most intimate and passionate emotion known to man - then why is it we (as men) feel the need to spend money on material items to express this so called "love"? I'll tell you why: The MAN needs something else to cash in on therefore he dictates everyone must be in love on valentine's day so they spend their money on stupid things that won't make anyone happy except someone else's pocket book. Yet everyone finds a valentine to buy stuff for and spend quality time together. I vote we declare valentine's day from this day forth to be known solely as "Freak in the Sheets Day"! That's all that's special about that god forsaken holiday anyway we might as well be honest about it!
Speaking of, I might make a few trips to sporting good stores before then. Just in case. There I go again! Fuckihatemyself.
Influences for my appearance range everywhere from the outrageously attractive hipsters on campus, to the male models in my GQ magazines, and elements gathered and interpreted from Lady GaGa. This is because as I age I'm trying to uncover who I really am underneath it all. I do such a good job hiding myself from the world that it's impossible to come out of hiding even from myself.
My first victim was a middle-aged suburban woman drenched in purple from head to toe. It was cold outside so she had a hideous purple peacoat with disgusting purple gloves and a rather unattractive fluffy purple scarf. She literally had her nose so high in the air it was as if she thought Jesus would come floating down from heaven and give her a kiss on the forehead. Luckily, she pissed me off enough for me to passively intimidate her from across the lightrail. Such a bitch.
I seek answers. What am I to do when someone hates commitment and obligation? I agree they are scary but what I fear even more is abandonment. The loss of interest. How am I to know the next time I see him he won't have found at least 43 others who are better qualified? The thought repels sleep from my bedroom and rest in my mind.
I stopped to question society again and got lost in my thoughts. Why is it nobody thinks they fit in yet everyone is convinced there are societal standards of fitting in? If nobody fits in then everyone does. It may be the only thing we have in common. I'm tired of wanting to be older - it's as though I'm wishing three years of my life away! I have no desire for a fake ID nor do I wish to step foot in a bar or club that is 21+ until I, myself am 21+. This sudden realization may result in my having to make new friends and get over the Hawty. If that's the case you can bet your bottom dollar that I will have no regrets or sadness about it. It's been on my mind a lot these past few days.
Valentine's day is on Sunday. That holiday may very well be the bane of my existence. I am a hopeless romantic and have yet to have a satisfying or even happy valentine's day. Not that it's a big deal or anything, but I'm tired of getting my hopes up to be thoroughly disappointed over a stupid holiday that shouldn't even be on a calender. If Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love - the most intimate and passionate emotion known to man - then why is it we (as men) feel the need to spend money on material items to express this so called "love"? I'll tell you why: The MAN needs something else to cash in on therefore he dictates everyone must be in love on valentine's day so they spend their money on stupid things that won't make anyone happy except someone else's pocket book. Yet everyone finds a valentine to buy stuff for and spend quality time together. I vote we declare valentine's day from this day forth to be known solely as "Freak in the Sheets Day"! That's all that's special about that god forsaken holiday anyway we might as well be honest about it!
Speaking of, I might make a few trips to sporting good stores before then. Just in case. There I go again! Fuckihatemyself.
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